Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You did what with his pubic hair?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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