No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
