At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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