Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
