Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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