yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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