I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
