I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
