It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
