if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
