Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
