I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
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