He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize