I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
