it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize