No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
