My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
