No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
