I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize