It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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