i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
