Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
you made out with another girl for some wings
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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