don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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