was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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