got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
