i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
