At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
