Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
