I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
