Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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