Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
