Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize