God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize