i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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