why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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