I am full of burrito and curiosity
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
