that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
