Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
