I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just high enough for therapy.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
