White coat. Heels.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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