i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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