I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
