Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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