i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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