Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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