Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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