i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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