and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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