Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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