Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
