I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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