its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
