who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
