Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
