My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
