i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
