I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
