you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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