my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
