I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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