does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
