Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize