His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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