I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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